


Better than sex cake

by Craftybadger1234



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, Birthday, Birthday Cake, Don't copy to another site, Gen, Recipes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25638394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Craftybadger1234/pseuds/Craftybadger1234
Summary: Harry would rather have cake than sex for his birthday.
Relationships: Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley
Comments: 9
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, CleopatraIsMyName for helping me beta and for alerting me that a big chunk was missing the first time I posted! How weird, and that's what I get for posting and then running off.

“Harry? Where’s my birthday boy?” Ginny called out, brushing soot from her dress and glancing around Harry’s sitting room. It’d been almost four months since they saw each other last and she was ready for action.

“Hey!” Harry said happily as he came in, still tucking in his shirt. “I’m ready. Just have to get my shoes on.” He gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him on the lips. “Don’t you want to have a little fun before we go?” She didn’t remember her mum mentioning anything about a girlfriend for Harry in Ginny’s absence. 

Harry whined and pulled a funny face. “Not _now_! We can get to that later. If we’re too late, Aroma will be out of cake and I’ve been waiting _all week_ for it.” He summoned his shoes and wriggled his feet in while simultaneously walking to the door. “Let’s go. We’ll play later.”

“You always say that, but then you eat enough to fill an erumpent and then you’re too tired,” she whined right back, but followed him out the door with a smile. “It’s been ages since Neal and I broke it off…” 

“Well it’s my birthday, I should get to decide these things.”

“Happy birthday, Harry.” She kissed his cheek and held out her arm.

Harry grinned and took hold of her elbow to side-along Apparate them close to Aroma, Harry’s new favourite restaurant. 

As they walked the last little bit, Harry’s eyes shone with excitement. “I love special birthday treats! Somehow it’s more special than picking up dessert on a regular day. Like, at first I thought we might go to the Glaze Maze and get those cherry tarts, you know? Or Squibbles has those white chocolate raspberry danishes, which are amazing even if I don’t like raspberries. But a restaurant seems fancier for my birthday so I considered Harmony, but I have their treacle tart all the time at brunch with Hermione and Ron. Although they added a chocolate pecan pie to the menu and that sounds delicious, but I didn’t want to risk my birthday treat on something new. So here we are.” He huffed a happy sigh and opened the door for her.

Ginny’s head spun with the sudden silence as Harry abruptly finished. She laughed as she walked through the door. “Who knew birthday dessert required so much consideration?”

The hostess sat them at a small table, handing them menus before she left. Harry scanned it quickly then set it aside, eyeing the kitchen door for a server coming in their direction. He rubbed his palms on his thighs in a nervous gesture she hadn’t seen in a while.

“Harry, calm down. You look like you’re about to storm the kitchen.”

“Sorry. Sorry. I’m really excited. And last time I was here, they were out. And I don’t want them to run out. It’s my birthday.”

Ginny took his hand. “It’s just cake, Harry.”

“It’s ‘Better Than Sex.’”

Ginny’s snort dissolved into loud giggling. “What the - cake is _not_ better than sex!”

“No, that’s the name of the cake. ‘Better Than Sex’ cake. And it totally lives up to the name.” Their server arrived and Harry spoke before she could introduce herself. “Hi, we’d both like a slice of ‘Better Than Sex’ cake and a glass of whatever house red. Thank you.”

The server gave them an odd look that quickly turned into a polite smile. She made eye contact with Ginny, who rolled her eyes, but nodded her agreement. “All right, I’ll get it right out for you,” the server said. 

“Oh Merlin, Ginny, this cake is amazing. I have to find a recipe. It’s some kind of chocolate cake. Light and fluffy, but they drizzle sweetened cream over it. Maybe sweetened condensed milk? It has caramel and whipped cream. So delicious!”

“Harry, you should see your face right now. Are you actually more excited about this cake than you are about the fun we’ll have later?”

“Well, I mean… you’re a sure thing whenever we want but sometimes they run out of cake.”

Ginny burst out laughing and gave Harry an incredulous look. “Oh Merlin Harry, that is… I can’t believe you!” She wiped the tears about to spill from her eye. “Sure thing… not anymore!” she said with a giggle.

“What?” he asked in confusion. “But you’re not seeing anyone?”

She tried for a more serious look, but knew it wasn’t working. And another round of laughter began when Harry said, “Our on again, off again thing is off again, isn’t it?”

“After you said you wanted cake more than you wanted me? Most definitely.” She squeezed his hand to show there were no hard feelings. “If you didn’t want to, you could have just said so.”

Harry shrugged. “It’s my birthday. Everyone sort of expects it.” He fiddled with his fork, avoiding her eyes.

“Hey, Harry. It’s okay. If you don’t want me… That’s fine. You’re fun to fool around with, but I know we’re more about convenience than anything else. We can go on the pull if you like? I can play wingman for you. Everyone loves a birthday boy.”

“No. It’s… I just don’t care.” 

Suddenly Harry straightened in his seat, his eyes bright and focused. Ginny looked over her shoulder at their server approaching with a large tray. She set wine and dessert in front of each of them. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

Harry stared at the confection for several seconds before cutting a large bite. His eyes closed and he moaned around his fork. “Bloody hell, it’s even better than I remembered," he mumbled with his mouth full. He opened his eyes and caught her staring. “Aren’t you going to try yours?” 

Ginny’s fork still hovered above her cake, captivated as she was by Harry’s reaction. She set the fork down and sipped at her wine, considering her companion. “You know, I don’t think you were kidding.”

“Kidding about what?”

“You really think this cake is better than sex.”

Harry paused with the fork halfway to his mouth. “Well, it’s really good.”

Ginny smiled and took a dainty bite of her piece. “Mm. Yummy. Sweet, moist. It’s good.” She set her fork down and sipped her wine. “Should I be offended you don’t look that happy when we’re naked together?” She took his free hand and gave his fingers a squeeze. “It’s really okay. Want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well I can listen if you want. We’ve been friends for years, Harry. There’s nothing that can change that.” She tilted her head, trying to meet his eye. “Is it because… are you gay?”

“Erm… no. At least I don’t think so. I mean, I’ve tried… you know… imaging men when I’m… erm… but it’s just as boring.”

She pressed her lips tight against a smile, but let it free when he gave her a blushing smile. “Boring? That’s very flattering.”

“Hey! You’re the one that asked.”

“Oh my sweet boy… you’re lucky I love you.” She swapped her plate of cake for his glass of wine. “Tell me what it’s like and you can have my piece.”

“What is what like?”

“Sex. Tell me why you don’t like it, so we can fix it. Everyone should be having fun when they’re having _fun_.”

“Erm… I don’t know…”

“Of course you do! I know you’ve thought about it. Tell me, or I’m taking my cake back.” He took a large bite of her cake. “Nice try. But I’ll just take back whichever piece is bigger.” She kicked his leg. “Tell me. I’m your best friend! If I don’t help you, who will?”

Harry swallowed and took a small sip of water. He rubbed his palms on his trousers again. “Say you’ve had a hard day. A long, exhausting day and you just can’t wait to burn all that crap away and perk back up. Right? Say you do that by running. You just full on sprint for fifteen straight minutes. And it’s good while it’s happening. The blood running in your veins, the sweat, the pleasant soreness in your muscles. All that.”

“Right, sure. Following you so far.” 

“Okay, then you collapse in a lush field of grass. Maybe the blue sky shimmers above you. You can feel your heartbeat thrumming all over. You’re pleasantly tired, your breath is hot and fast. All of you feels spent and worn, but in the best way.”

“Mm, definitely,” she said with a slow smile. She squirmed in her seat as her blood heated in fond memory.

“You have to get up and walk home, but it’s easy because you’re feeling languid and soft and everything feels so good. And you get home and you’re ready for whatever comes next because all your bad feelings are burned away.”

She caressed his hand, around to the inside of his wrist. “Yes… I love a delicious afterglow.”

“Now imagine you do all the running and collapse in the grassy field and you feel just as tense and jittery as before you started. You sit up to look around the meadow, but find you’re really still waiting in your doorway. All the running didn’t help, didn’t change anything. No afterglow, no thrumming in your veins, and all that tension still there.”

“Oh Harry.” She squeezed his hand, offering whatever sympathy she could.

Harry stared at his plate, lost in thought. “And maybe you think you’re not running right. So you try different routes, different times of day, different shoes. But it’s always the same. It might be good, but it’s never _enough_. And after a while you just think, ‘Why bother running at all?’”

“You’d - you’d really prefer not running at all?” Memories of the two of them together flitted through her mind. Of all the times he was slow to start, or begged off entirely. While Harry had always been attentive to her, he hadn’t seemed to care all that much about himself.

Harry shrugged. “I guess I just prefer a sugar high.”

“Does the sugar high send you to the happy meadow?”

“More or less.”

“Then let’s get you high as hoops.” Harry’s startled eyes met hers and she grinned. “Let’s take this to go. We’ll pick up cherry tarts and white chocolate raspberry danishes and chocolate pecan pie and anything else you want. We’ll stay up late watching funny films and send our blood sugar soaring.”

“You mean it?” 

“Anything for the birthday boy.”

Grinning widely, Harry signalled their server for the bill.


	2. Hornet's Nest Cake recipe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a recipe from the "Cake Mix Doctor" and it's super simple and easy to keep the ingredients on hand.

Hornet's Nest Cake

Combine - 

1 yellow cake mix (just the powder)  
1 box vanilla pudding (just the powder)  
2 cups of milk

Stir until smooth and pour into 13 x 9 pan (oiling the pan is optional)

Sprinkle on top - 

chocolate chips  
butterscotch chips  
pecans (if you aren't allergic)

Bake at 350 for 35 minutes or until set. Cool and enjoy.


End file.
